The PS in besochemPS is surely the slipperiest aspect of the beast – psychological compulsions. It’s quite evident that under different circumstances and to varying extents, we are all willing to participate in a behavior that we know is causing us certain harm. We’ll all quickly agree that it is not OK for me to harm you (unless in self-defense, I suppose.) So, why would it be OK for you to harm you?
Sometimes, its a simple matter of being overwhelmed or over powered by the other 4 heads of the dragon. Imagine heading to the club after double shift, having a couple cold ones, you get a text message from your mate, explaining they just got in a fender bender with YOUR car, and the guy next to you has his pack of smokes on the bar (your brand.) Only a superhuman could resist the behavioral triggers, social triggers, and emotional urges! But the psychological compulsion is usually in play when you aren’t surrounded by bunches of triggers. But even though you know it’s bad for you, you just don’t care enough about you to protect you from you. It’s that willingness to self-destruct or an unwillingness to self-preserve.
Often our past hold some of the answers as to why we don’t respect ourselves enough to consistently protect ourselves. We may have deeply internalized ideas about our value as a person based upon unpleasant or traumatic experiences or relationships in our past. And while this aspect of our relationship with tobacco (or other substances and behaviors) can be uncomfortable to discuss, we really owe it to ourselves to pay attention to this head of the dragon. Some of us will benefit from professional help processing our past experiences, trauma, and relationships.
When all is said and done, if we can see ourselves differently, we’ll treat ourselves differently. Again, this is very complicated and maybe in a face to face meeting or a phone call I could explain it better. If it doesn’t make sense, make me explain it again. This is important (because you are!)
You deserve to be free, whole, safe, respected, protected, loved.