The PS in besochemPS is surely the slipperiest aspect of the beast – psychological compulsions. It’s quite evident that under different circumstances and to varying extents, we are all willing to participate in a behavior that we know is causing us certain harm. We’ll all quickly agree that it is not OK for me to harm you (unless in self-defense, I suppose.) SO why would it be OK for you to harm you?
Sometimes, its a simple matter of being overwhelmed or over powered by the other 4 heads of the dragon. Imagine heading to the club after double shift, having a couple cold ones, you get a text message from your mate, explaining that just got in a fender bender with YOUR car… You’re surrounded by smokers. Only a superhuman could resist under the behavioral triggers, social triggers, and emotional urges! But the psychological compulsion is usually in play when you aren’t surrounded by bunches of triggers. But even though you know it’s bad for you, you just don’t care enough about you to protect you from you.
Often our past hold some of the answers as to why we don’t respect ourselves enough to consistently protect ourselves.
When all is said and done, if we can see ourselves differently, we’ll treat ourselves differently. Again, this is very complicated and maybe in a face to face meeting or a phone call I could explain it better. If it doesn’t make sense, make me explain it again.
You deserve to be free, whole, safe, respected, protected, loved.
This morning I came to the desk where I sit when working from home. As I internally expressed gratitude that my work is continuing, I looked at the small fleet of mobile phones plugged into their various charging cables and the “easy” button which I use to celebrate various tasks I accomplish. The subject of …
Gratitude: Ready, Set, Recharge! Read More »
We all WANT to do things that we know aren’t good for us from time to time. And feeding those urges with occasional splurges may be OK now and then. But when it feels like the habit has us on its leash, it’s time to take our control back!
I’ve rarely heard a quote more true or more powerful than Viktor Frankl’s observation (admonition) regarding stimulus and response. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” In that space lies our salvation, our freedom, our power, …
In That Space Read More »
While I’m grateful for a few days to relax a bit, as I think about thanking, I remain deeply grateful that my work gives me opportunities to serve brave and hopeful people. I hope that you and yours enjoy Thanksgiving in a way that brings you joy. #GiveThanks #Change4Good
This photograph by my friend Joshua Lord has mystified me since I first saw it. As I share it today, I think perhaps it’s calling us to color our world with our own unique light. We ought to see ourselves regularly as agents of change in this world, with light to share. To be clear, …
Color Your World Read More »
Here are some excerpts from one of my favorite authors – Paulo Coelho. He just published ‘The Child Within Us.’ A few phrases stood out as I read it. We must listen to the child that we once were, and who still lives within us. This child understands about magic instants. We can muffle …
The Child that We Once Were Read More »
Pick a pic that suits you, moves you, and makes you want to believe. Happy Monday (make it matter!) Happy Monday (make it matter!)
I’m feeling plenty of pain, stress, and suffering in the world around me and it makes me want to respond. So I am challenging myself (and of course, you too!) to start this week with a mindset and purpose of kindling tiny flames of kindness. I suspect that no matter what personal situations have you …
Kindle Kindness Read More »
The troubles of this world can sometimes make us little people feel powerless. And certainly there are situations that are beyond our control. However, I am often surprised by how much personal power I hold. When wielded responsibly and skillfully that power can change the course of a moment, and hour, or a day for …
Your Power Read More »
Accepting an apology that was never given frees us to move forward in peace and strength. – T Judson Starkey Ponder upon that thought. What will happen when we pretend that a person who hurt us did apologize? Accept that apology, because whether or not it really happened it is really holding you back from …
Pretend and Mend? Read More »
On my way to the car this morning I noticed a nasturtium bud in the window box on the porch. The pointed flower-to-be, poised on the end of it’s gracefully curved ‘neck’ looked oddly like a creature in a scary sci-fi movie. Perhaps you can guess which one. I smirked as I continued to the …
Worrious? Read More »
(Trigger warning: abusive relationships) It remains a mystery why – under certain circumstances – we allow harm to come to ourselves. I think everyone does it in one way or another. Even getting complacent about clicking the seatbelt when ‘it’s just a short trip’ invites unnecessary risk of harm. Certainly when addiction is concerned it …
Fighting Mad? Read More »
The things I THINKdetermine how I FEELwhich influences how I ACTwhat I will or won’t DOand ultimately determine who I am. Download the worksheet here: LawOfTheFunnel The order is easy to remember; it starts with a 5 letter word, followed by a 4 letter word, a 3 letter word, a 2 letter word and a 1 …
The Universal Law of the Funnel Read More »
I think we all need a checkup from the neck up at times – perhaps often! I understand that the spirit of mindfulness would have us be aware of our thoughts without judging them. But I also understand that holding certain thoughts can have a distinctly negative effect upon our well-being. So I will always …
Checkup from the Neck up? Read More »
Being kind to self isn’t always easy. Even understanding what self kindness is can be a bit confusing. We have talked about how harshly we sometimes judge self and how that can make matters worse. We don’t criticize a leopard cub for not being able to fend for itself. (is that little critter not adorable?!) …
Self-Kindness Read More »