The SO in beSOchemps makes us aware that there are familiar SO-cial situations that can make us think about using. Notice that again, the face and the place only have the power to make us THINK about using. They can’t “make” us do it.
In classes and phone coaching with smokers, I often employ the example like this:
“Every Wednesday night, Bob and I shoot three racks of pool at the Polish-American Club. Most Wednesdays he beats me (I think he cheats) but as long as he’s winning, I can bum several Newports off of him and he never gripes. But the weirdest thing happened last Sunday when I ran into Bob at the grocery store – right there in the middle of the produce aisle, I start reaching for my pack and lighter. IN THE GROCERY STORE?!” And I ask the class or my Quit Buddy what happened, and they completely get it. Just like the coffee cup became a behavioral trigger through repetition and association, certain people and places can become social triggers.
I don’t necessarily think you always have to terminate relationships in order to quit (but we sometimes do.) I suggest that if its a Wednesday night a the club kinda thing, you MIGHT be OK if you ask your buddy if – for a few months at least – you could do something else on your Wednesday nights out. Maybe hit the mall, catch a movie, grab dinner somewhere, or play cards. Friends who are worth keeping will be willing to make some temporary changes in order to maintain a relationship with you and be supportive of you quitting.
One last thought about social triggers – especially for my Quit Buddies who say “none of my friends smoke anymore, I don’t have any social triggers.” If you always smoke alone, and especially if you’re embarrassed to be seen smoking, your smoking probably still has a social context. For you, smoking requires solitude.
Anyway, comment below. I would love your feedback or questions!
DFTYA! ;) http://ow.ly/i/tVQ5I
The Great American SmokeOut began 50 years ago in hopes of raising awareness of tobacco’s negative health consequences and the numerous ways a person might choose to break up that complicated relationship. Each year since then, the third Thursday in November has been designated as the day when smokers are challenged to declare a “mini-quit” …
Get Support, Be Support Read More »
No, this post is not about extraterrestrials. That may be a conversation for another day. But in a very healthy way, most of us are better when we’re connected to others – especially others who understand our situations. And I don’t mean someone who can whine with us and be miserable with us and complain …
We Are Not Alone Read More »
Pick a pic that suits you, moves you, and makes you want to believe. Happy Monday (make it matter!) Happy Monday (make it matter!)
I’m feeling plenty of pain, stress, and suffering in the world around me and it makes me want to respond. So I am challenging myself (and of course, you too!) to start this week with a mindset and purpose of kindling tiny flames of kindness. I suspect that no matter what personal situations have you …
Kindle Kindness Read More »
Same four letters – two different outcomes. When we notice an emotional state that’s uncomfortable, we have two choices; FEEL the feelings or FLEE the feelings. As in most of life, there is not a single solution for every situation. There will be situations when allowing the feelings to flow freely could result in catastrophic …
Feel or Flee? Read More »
“What you see and what you hear depends a good deal on where you are standing.” -C. S. Lewis (The Magician’s Nephew) In both literal and figurative ways, ‘where you are standing’ matters. It can change what you see or hear. Here are a few images that have interesting perspectives: We …
Perspective Read More »
On my way to the car this morning I noticed a nasturtium bud in the window box on the porch. The pointed flower-to-be, poised on the end of it’s gracefully curved ‘neck’ looked oddly like a creature in a scary sci-fi movie. Perhaps you can guess which one. I smirked as I continued to the …
Worrious? Read More »
The things I THINKdetermine how I FEELwhich influences how I ACTwhat I will or won’t DOand ultimately determine who I am. Download the worksheet here: LawOfTheFunnel The order is easy to remember; it starts with a 5 letter word, followed by a 4 letter word, a 3 letter word, a 2 letter word and a 1 …
The Universal Law of the Funnel Read More »
Today, I’m changing the ring tone on my mobile to a song that will amuse me. I’m investing a minute of my morning to click on a couple keys and change the sound my phone makes when someone calls me. Who cares? Me. I care and I know (from my past experience) that even if …
Friday, Fun, Phones, and the Fourth Read More »
Staying in touch means staying on track, so if you’re on a journey and you aren’t getting text message support, you only need to ask! Email your first name and mobile number to TJ@QuittersWin.org or visit our Facebook page and send a private message. Thanks for taking good care of you and thanks for letting …
Text Support Matters Read More »
I think we all need a checkup from the neck up at times – perhaps often! I understand that the spirit of mindfulness would have us be aware of our thoughts without judging them. But I also understand that holding certain thoughts can have a distinctly negative effect upon our well-being. So I will always …
Checkup from the Neck up? Read More »
Pick A Pic Here are some of my favorite posts from the past and an invitation. Consider printing or saving a couple that you like and make the message something you’ll see often. Post them where you’ll see them often and consider sharing them with others. Have a beaYOUtiful day! http://ow.ly/i/Ds6N0 http://ow.ly/i/Ds6Ph http://ow.ly/i/Ds6Si http://ow.ly/i/Ds6Uq http://ow.ly/i/Ds6Wk …
Pick A Pic Read More »
Intertwingled We are not isolated beings, but connected, in mystery and miracle. to the universe and to each other. Perhaps that’s why showing kindness to another – even a stranger – makes one feel better. We need to remember how intertwingled our lives are, how exquisite a tapestry is woven of the countless unique strands. …
Intertwingled Read More »
Make Someone Smile Today! (You’ve still got time!) http://ow.ly/i/Bosme
Just because something is familiar, doesn’t mean it’s right, right?! In fact if you look at the last half of the word famiLIAR, it might remind you that familiar doesn’t mean true. So sure, when you’re stressed out, reaching for a drug may be familiar, but it’s not the best answer and you deserve better. …
Beware of the Familiar! Read More »